My Boy Rewritten
by shinelikegold
Summary: Harry is torn over Sirius' death, which has been torturing his mind for over a week since the incident at the Department of Mysteries. However, another memory returns to him, which makes Harry realise he has one thing Voldemort will never have. Love.


**I've re-written this as I was unhappy with the last, as it made Harry seem as if he didn't mind what his father had done to Snape. However, this time I think it shows Harry better than It had in my last. Hope this is ok :D Enjoy!**

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**My Boy**

Harry lay in his bed fidgetting painfully, on the verge of agony, as he dreamt of his godfathers death for the hundreth time that week. He awoke with pure anger and hurt inside him, his throat dry and hot, his body trembling as he cried into his pillow.

People told him so many times it wasn't his fault that Sirius had been killed by his crack-pot cousin - Bellatrix LeStrange - though Harry wouldn't believe it. If he hadn't been foolish enough to have gone to the Department of Mysteries, he would still be alive and well. Harry growled as he punched his bedpost, blood trickling from his knuckles down his wrist.

He turned on his back and eyed the room. He couldn't see much, but could make out the silhouette of Ron rolling on his side. He could see Neville waving his arms randomly in the air, muttering words angrily, then slept peacefully again.

Harry could feel his eyes stinging after straining to see his surroundings. He didn't want to return to sleep, he knew that he'd only dream of the painful image that had been burned into his mind with every blink. The darkness became darker than Harry even thought possible, and everything became quiet and relaxing...

_"Where's Sirius?" Harry smiled at Lupin, who was sat beside him in the Kitchen at Grimmauld Place._

_"No idea, probably in the attic with Buckbeak" Lupin smiled, taking a sip of his drink._

_"Thanks"_

_Harry made his way towards the attic passing Kreacher - who was muttering nasty things under his breath. When he entered the attic, he couldn't see anyone, not even Buckbeak, until a sigh came from behind him._

_"You should be asleep, Harry" Sirius grinned, ruffling Harry's hair lovingly. "Did you want me?"_

_"I just wanted to talk, is that ok?" Harry said, noticing that Buckbeak was behind Sirius, fast asleep._

_"Sure!" Sirius chirped, taking a seat beside Buckbeak and stroking him. "Come sit"_

_Harry sat beside Sirius, playing with the torn rug underneath him, that smelt of raw meat. He'd never been happier when he was with Sirius, but somehow tonight, it didn't seem the same._

_"So Harry?" Sirius looked at him and half-smiled, still stroking Buckbeak. Harry knew Sirius was expecting to have this conversation with him, ever since he had mentioned it in the fire._

_"What did Snape do to upset you?" Harry asked, feeling an unexpected burst of anger._

_"Nothing you need to worry about" Sirius replied, a slight bitterness in his voice. _

_"I've been all the years thinking my Dad was a great man, but he was an arrogant, obnoxious piece of-"_

_"Harry!" Sirius growled, glaring at him for a moment then looking away. "Your father isn't much different to you, you know."_

_"Im not-" Harry glared at Sirius as he raised his eyebrows and smirked. "I wouldn't do anything like he did!"_

_"I know you wouldn't Harry, I'm not saying what he did was good-"_

_"He did it because you were bored, Sirius!" Harry felt angry and hurt, he wouldn't do anything that his father had done, not even to Malfoy._

_"Harry, please understand Snape was a piece of work, he was just as nasty to us than your father was to him." Sirius said coldly._

_"It still doesn't make up for what he did though!" Harry snapped._

_There was an uncomfortable silence in which the only sounds heard was Harry's rapid breathing and Buckbeaks slow and calm breathing. _

_"Im sorry, Harry." Harry looked up. Sirius had his back to him, but his voice was croaky, like he'd been crying..._

_"Its fine, let's just ignore it." Harry muttered, tapping his Godfather reassuringly on his shoulder._

_"Did you see your mother, Lily?" Sirius smiled slightly, but then frowned._

_"Yeah, my Dad was trying to impress her," Harry growled. "What a sick way to impress."_

_"I know..." Sirius cut off, his breathing was shallow. "They got together in the end though."_

_"Yeah..." Harry smiled. "I'll never understand what made her love him in the end."_

_"Neither will I," Sirius grinned. "But they gave me the greatest Godson I've ever had."_

_"Thanks Sirius," Harry smiled broadly. "Did Dad always do mean things to impress her?"_

_"No, he mostly made a fool of himself or bragged about how good at Quidditch he was." Sirius chuckled._

_"Well, I've made a fool of myself plenty of times, but not for impressing reasons." Harry grinned._

_"Are you sure?" Sirius' eyes sparkled, Harry had a feeling he was up to no good._

_"Meaning?"_

_"Suppose you do it sometimes around Cho?" Sirius winked._

_Harry's eyes widened, but couldn't hold back a grin. "How'd you know?"_

_"Ginny mentioned it to me. Ron and Hermione can't keep conversations private sometimes." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Can they ever?"_

_"Not really, I'm surprised they wasn't arguing over it." Harry saw Sirius' eyebrows raise an inch. _

_"Wow, what a shock!" Harry said sarcastically._

_"Never stopped you and them being friends though." Sirius smiled. "Just like Me, James and Remus."_

_"You better get to bed Harry, or Molly will give me trouble." Sirius chuckled. "Goodnight"_

_Harry got up off the damp floor of the attic, and hugged Sirius tightly. He crossed several broken lampshades and crockery until he finally reached the hole where the ladder was._

_"Night, Sirius" Harry said, decending the ladder slowly._

_"Oh, Harry!" Sirius said suddenly, causing Harry to jump and hit his head on the ceiling._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Good luck with Cho." _

_"I've - Er - already had some luck..." Harry grinned at the ladder, as he could no longer see Sirius._

_"Oh... That's my boy!" Sirius laughed._

_Sirius' laugh faded as he made his way down the corridor. Familiar voices where shouting his name, but they werent the voices he expected. He suddenly shook violently, then the picture faded..._

"Harry!" a voice called.

Harry opened his eyes, he was back in his dormitory at Hogwarts. His heart sank. He had got to be with Sirius again since the incident, though he had already had that conversation with him, repeating it made him feel so much closer to him.

"Harry, you alright mate?" Ron asked, his face looking worried. "You didn't wake up"

"I'm fine" Harry growled, getting out of his bed and pulling on his robes.

"You dreamt of Sirius didn't you?" Neville said behind him, looking down at the floor.

"Er... Yeah" Harry felt a twinge of guilt. He had been snapping at everyone over Sirius, yet Neville had gone through just as much, his own parents had been put to the point of insanity because of Bellatrix LeStrange.

"We're here for you, Harry" Neville smiled slightly, though he didn't look into his eyes, and walked out.

"Neville!" Harry shouted, and Neville re-appeared at the doorway looking surprised and frightened. "Thankyou"

Neville smiled genuinely and nodded. "Lets go for breakfast"

"Okay" Ron and Harry said simultaneously, then grinned.

Harry felt a rush of happiness fill him again. Voldemort was missing one thing Harry did have.

Love.


End file.
